The days are blending together, which is honestly a good thing. I thought I might die on pre-op but I'm already over a week in and doing fine. I'm losing weight, I'm not starving all day like I thought I would be......and I even avoided all of the confetti cookies I helped the girls make at Guides last night, fuck yeah, I can do this!!
It was tough last night. I had to really think before I spoke. When all the girls were offering me their cookies and I said I couldn't but thanks they of course asked why and I stumbled for a second, I mean I'm not going to tell 10 years olds I'm going for surgery, so then I almost blurted out my 25 year standby....I'm on a diet, but I managed to stop myself. I want these girls to grow up with healthy body images and of course like everyone else they will have issues and probably diet themselves and possibly hate their body like I do but I will not personally be the one to help that happen. I will not be the one to ruin their cookie night. So, when they asked why I couldn't I simply said, oh no reason guys I'm just trying to eat a bit healthier these days, and I just had dinner so I'm all good thanks!
I have to stop all medications and vitamins as of today until surgery. I actually stopped the meds a week ago in preparation for this and sadly I am an absolute emotional mess because of it, crying over everything. I will be happy when I can start my medication again after surgery.
Well counting today I have four more days of pre-op diet and then I switch to the completely clear liquid diet. I leave in 6 days for Mexico and surgery is in 7 days, it's coming up really quick!!
Oh and btw, the exchange rate is shit.....my $4600 surgery has now cost me $5884 plus another $290 for the insurance.......jeebus. Oh well for every pound I lose it will cost me about $61.74.....but WTF, I will be $6174 worth of skinny minnie.
Fuck you plus size bridesmaid dress, that ain't happening for Pam's wedding.
Fuck you go kart - my ass will fit this summer and I will kill that track.
Fuck me, my eyes are leaking again....time to peace out!
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