Today the surgery came up and I told someone very close to me that I wish we could talk about it, that she's the one person I 'need' to be able to talk to about it.
The next thing I knew she attacked and we were screaming at each other. Rather than ask me questions or try to understand she immediately began throwing barbs at me and yelling out judgemental things and I yelled back. There was no reasoning with her.
She told me I was ridiculous and being stupid; that it was a waste of money, and my favourite one - that I'm taking the easy way out. I yelled "the easy way out, are you kidding me? You obviously know nothing about this surgery if you think this is the easy way out!"
She said that I just need to stop eating - it's input vs. output and that I don't need surgery I can lose the weight without it. I said well if it's that easy why are we overweight? Why have we fought with our weight our whole lives? To which she replied that it's because we stuff our faces.
She said it was obviously a great idea if my own doctor wouldn't do it or refer me to someone here, but no, I'm stupid enough to go to Mexico instead........
She said go ahead be the skinny one then and I said is that what this is about? Are you jealous? Bad call, she said no and said go ahead and be like Vanessa (my cousin's wife) and Renee (my boyfriend's ex) who've done it because I know you want to be like Renee......ouch.....and ew.
I came home and the minute I walked through the door I broke down.
I don't know how to do this without her. She's been part of every major life decision. Thank god I have Sean by my side through this at least. He is so understanding and supportive. I do feel bad for him though because I know he will have to take the brunt of fallout of the arguments between my sister and I and will have to hold me up when she tears me down and that's not fair of me to ask of him.
No comments:
Post a Comment